In Pursuit of my Personal Legend

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

This Growing Up Stuff

I've heard the saying "this growing up stuff ain't fair, and is hard", whispered in between lines from a book trenched with fear and defeat, trying to place hope in the minds of the reader through complex characters etched in ink, I've heard it in songs through the sad lyrics with voices caught in pain, I've seen it in the eyes of young actors suddenly discovering it through some life-altering event, and I've seen it sketched in black ink, the child not understanding about this crazy grown up world.

And I claimed I felt it when I realized that my Mother and I did not see eye to eye, but also that I could not explain my pain to her. For a moment in time, I felt shattered, all the pieces of me missing and not sure when it happened, but knowing it must have started with a child not allowed to explore her backyard.

So with all that, that has happened recently, I scramble around to be sure and confident. Whenever someone asks me, "how do you do it, supporting yourself?" I draw a blank. To me I did what I had to do. Though definitely not perfect, and most absolutely definitely not in an organized manner. Though my attempts at organization did amount to something. Still when you are young and trying to organize, find yourself, and relish freedom, all the priorities get blurred. Not that I didn't know what came first, but feeling that I had to enjoy the eighteen years of my life that I never did, I choose the freedom in order to find myself. But it hits me hard now at twenty-three, when society asks one to be an adult yet at the same time looks at you as too young to understand.

And now I think, if one wants to help raise a child, whether as a community or a family one should teach them the ways of finances and filing. Society laughs at the young broke college student, but forgets to ask "who helped?" It thinks that the young adult is irresponsible and should use common sense. I beg to differ. This growing up stuff is hard, and it would be a better journey if guidance is issued and little love and life lessons were passed down properly. As for now I'll take the extra steps to recognize and stick to a new plan, all the while storing up a bit of wisdom to pass on to the young adult that one day will cross paths with the older adult.

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