In Pursuit of my Personal Legend

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The Writings on the Sand

This is a story that must be posted. This particular story forms who I am and who I can become. It's a crazy-wild love story that echoes through the centuries. It talks about pain, rejection, betrayal, acceptance and forever love.

She was looked down on by society. They frowned down on her. Some said it was because she had cheated with the one she was tied to. Others said she had spurred her family with an adulterous heart and body. Magdalene was rejected by society, betrayed by those who loved her. Society's expectations were high for her a Jewish woman. Mary, who among her people to begin with, was belittled being a woman, had now become less than an animal-one that had to be stoned.

So the leaders of her town brought her to Jesus, ready to stone her and test Him. He bluntly told them while scribbling madly in the sand - "Those without sin let them cast the first stone". That day no stone was cast. After Mary's accusers left the Lord told her that He found no fault in her. A man who was born without any stint - who had every right to accuse her - instead in His perfection made her brokenness pure.

Many times I find myself on that ancient land lying on Jesus' feet just like Mary did. In my past I was looked down on, rejected, because I was different and stubborn. For many years and even in some occasions and events in the present, I had believed that deep inside I was truly selfish, could never belong anywhere, and was not even worth a small battle for.

Yet I stand, actually most times in a heap on the ground, around His feet. Each time He takes His hand and propels me to a higher ground. A ground, a place, a presence full of Love. One that dissipates any thoughts of ever being worthless. Because He who is pure and right dares to love me, to deem me priceless although I am insignificant in many ways. Not only did He take a chance to die for me, just so one day I can feel His joy and peace and be His other Self, He constantly takes my broken pieces in His hands. Suffers and feels my pain, in this journey that leaves me dizzy aching for a way out.

So when He asks me occasionally in His small and big ways whether I will take His hand and do everything for Him, I can't resist a fought out yes. I feel honoured - even though I know the world will disrespect me. I feel ecstasy- though I am overwhelmed by this wild unearthly Love. I feel joy - even though situations leave me pained; at the end of the day His Spirit pours on me and helps me find humour, peace, and beauty in situations that leave me breathless, and wishing I wished I was anywhere but here.

Writing this post that I have been aching to write for a long time - I still cannot get the right words. I cannot quite explain how I feel that Christ is writing a love letter to me on the sand. That those writings on the sand where not only meant for Mary and her accusers to read. That He is there on every occasion, especially the ones where I feel fingers are being pointed at me. Or when I feel that the world doesn't get me and want to hide inside my shell.

The writings on the sand - Mary’s story - are a big chunk of my redemption story. When I watched this story unfold in part of the "Passion of the Christ” movie I knew instantly that Christ had my heart. That He always will. Even though I run from Him "the Hound of Heaven" when life gets tough, or some temporally idea draws me in, I know, and He especially knows that I will always be His. In this I find much comfort. I feel like an infant, though the day was or I was temperamental, I could still lie snug in my bed knowing I am home, secure, and loved.

As for rejection, betrayal, and pain they will not have the last words on my heart. With His tender hands, words like "acceptance, precious you, and assurance" are the final words that will soothe the wounds. So who am I? I am loved, and my destiny will speak of victories that reap peace and healing. All because Love leads me always.

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